The Obama Constitution

Posted on February 2, 2014 by

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Me The People

I the Obama, of the People’s Democratic Republic of Obama, in order to create a more perfect Obama, establish injustice, domestic intranquility, provide for my defense, promote my general welfare, and secure money you have for myslef and my cronies, because you didn’t build that, do ordain this constitution for the People’s Democratic Republic of Obama.

Article I:

There shall be a congress whose members shall be selected by me. The congress shall be in session when I declare it to be in session, and not in session when I say so. It shall pass all laws as I instruct it. Should congress pass a law and I sign it, I may change that law or enforce or not enforce that law as I desire. Should congress fail to act, I may pass a law by executive order and change, enforce, or not enforce such orders as I desire.

Article II:

There shall be a president, and I shall be him. The president shall have such powers and privileges as he so desires.

Article III:

There shall be a Supreme Court, whose members shall be appointed by me. They can pronounce anything they like, as I shall ignore everything they do if it pleases me.

Bill of My Rights:

1. I shall respect no religion, and prohibit the free exercise thereof as I desire. I may abridge the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

2. A well regulated Militia, being a threat to my security and power, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be tolerated.

3. No Soldier shall, in time of peace or war be quartered in any house if the criticize or think ill of me.

4. The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall be violated as I desire, and no Warrants shall need be issued,

5. Any person may be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; and shall have private property taken for my use, without just compensation, as I deem, because you didn’t build that.

6. In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall not enjoy the right to a speedy or public trial, and may be detained indefinitely without trial if I deem them to be a terrorist or other malcontent.

7. In suits at common law, I may deem my agencies and representatives, and I myself, immune from all actions and ruling, nor due we need to respond to subpoena or court order of any kind.

8. Excessive bail shall required if I deem it so, as well as excessive fines imposed, and cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

9. The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to apply to any person other than myself.

10. The powers not delegated to me, nor prohibited by me, are reserved to me.

h/t BraveSirRobin

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